Memories of the Countryside

Kei reading her poetry at James Allen's

Memories of the countryside

Awake, the sunlight splits the orchard and divides the fields,
At the edge of the grass alcove
(tucked away behind the courtyard and on the border of the corn)
Are the three graves – humble headstones low
Shaped slates of soil basking in the sun


Back by the woods he’s waiting for me
The scarecrow stands in his domicile - the golden desert,
Near to the sweet peas growing over the collapsed wall
But beyond I see my grandfather
We climb the ivy mountain together
Behind, I swear the world is catching up with us
And the nettles clutch at my dress.


Evening, and the violet solitude descends
We stand shoulder to shoulder
And on the crest of the hill a grand line of stags
Peer down at the two humans and disappear
Then the night quickens
The stones in the field slow my running
Towards the warmth of the fire my father has lit
Ahead in the distance like a calling.

Autumn Colours in Kyoto

See Nanzenji and Eikando
See Hyuga Dai Jinga
See also Okochi-Sansho
See also Shogunzuka

Japan - Imabari and the Kurushima Strait

Kurushima Strait Bridge

It's hard to know what to say about this magical place. The extreme scale of the views in all directions, the breathtaking engineering of the vast bridges - one of which - Kurushima- is the 14th longest in the world; the constantly changing light from the sea, the terrifying currents that keep even experienced masters on the bridge, the freshness of the air and of the local fish (made the more tasty by having to swim so hard), the sense of timelessness as the clouds and tides swirl as they have always done.

Kurushima Strait and Imabari

The Power of Now

Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of Now, is a great work; one of the most important philosophical books ever written, not because it elucidates a new idea, but because it reminds us of a fundamental truth with such clarity and insight.

The book begins with a beautiful description of how the German-born, English educated author came by the transformative experience that would guide his life and cause him to write not just The Power of Now but also A New Earth, a fascinating explanation of the workings of the ego.

'Until my thirtieth year I lived in a state of almost continuous anxiety interspersed with periods of suicidal depression. One night I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. The silence of the night, the vague outlines of the furniture in the dark room; the distant noise of a passing train - everything felt so alien, so hostile, so utterly meaningless that it created in me a deep loathing of the world. The most loathsome thing of all, however, was my own existence. What was the point in continuing to live with this burden of misery? I could feel that a deep longing for annihilation, for nonexistence, was becoming much stronger than the instinctive desire to continue to live. 

'I cannot live with myself any longer.' This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. 'Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the 'I' and the 'self' that I cannot live with. 'Maybe,' I thought, 'only one of them is real.'

I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. I was fully conscious, but there were no more thoughts. Then I felt drawn into what felt like a vortex of energy. It was a slow movement at first but then accelerated.  I was gripped by an intense fear and my body started to shake. I heard the words 'resist nothing' as if spoken inside my chest. I could feel myself sucked into a void. It felt as if the void was inside myself instead of outside. Suddenly, there was no more fear, and I let myself fall into that void. I have no recollection of what happened after that.

I was awaked by the chirping of a bird outside the window. I had never heard such a sound before. My eyes were still closed, and I saw the image of a precious diamond. Yes, if a diamond could make a sound, this is what it would be like. I opened my eyes. The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains. Without any thought, I felt, I knew that there is infinitely ore to light than we realize. That soft luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself.  Tears came into my eyes. I got up and walked around the room. I recognised the room, yet I knew that I had never truly seen it before. Everything was fresh and pristine, as if it had just come into existence. I picked up things, a pen, an empty bottle, marvelling at the beauty and aliveness of it all. That day I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on earth, as if I had just been born into this world'.

Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now

A wonderful description of a mystical experience of the kind described by William James in 'The Varieties of Religious Experience' and by Evelyn Underhill . 

The Canary Islands

This is Teide, the highest mountain on the Canaries, on Tenerife.


La Palma is the 'steepest' island in the world. The massive Caldera de Taburiente has given its name to all calderas the world over. All La Palma's mountains are volcanic and one - Teneguia - erupted as recently as 1971.

Click the photos for a better idea of the scale of these mountains

Ramesh Balsekar

Darshan at Ramesh Balsekar's house in Bombay. Ramesh, a realised soul, has held darshan at his house in Gamadia Road every morning for many years following his retirement as President of the Bank of India.  His guru was Nisagadatta Maharaj, on whose teachings he wrote the classic 'Pointers from Nisagadatta Maharaj'. Leonard Cohen visited Ramesh for six months in 2000 and gained a deep understanding of his teachings which suffused the rest of his life

Bombay Nights

Walking on Colaba Causeway after dinner at Leopold's Cafe. Click on the heading to see the video.

November 2008: I fear this may be the tailor who was shot in the terrorist attacks

Puttaparthy

Puttaparthy, about four hours drive north-east of Bangalore, is the site of Sai Baba's ashram, Prasanthi Nilyam, and was once a small cowherds' village. It's now a large and bustling town which probably has the most eclectic population of all of India as thousands of people visit the ashram annually from all over the world. It's also the site of his free schools and university, as well as a huge free hospital (built with funds donated particularly by Isaac Tigrett from the sale of his Hard Rock Cafes). There is another free hospital at Whitefield, a suburb of Bangalore

Sai Baba himself, an avatar and the reincarnation of Sai Baba of Shirdi, died on 24th April 2011 at the age of 85 (96 by the lunar calendar) and until he went into hospital on 28th March, he was still giving his darshan (blessing) to his visitors and the hundreds of schoolchildren in his schools daily from a specially adapted Toyota Porte from which he could descend in his wheelchair.

Sai Baba's teachings are simple and timeless. They are also non-denominational. He welcomes all faiths and says" I have not come on behalf of any exclusive religion. I have not come on a mission of publicity for a sect or creed or cause, nor have I come to collect followers for a doctrine. I have no plan to attract disciples or devotees into my fold or any fold.'

His 'cause' is simple - to reestablish dharma - righteousness. In an early discourse he explained it thus:

"For the protection of the virtuous, for the destruction of evil-doers and for establishing righteousness on a firm footing, I incarnate from age to age. Whenever disharmony (asanthi) overwhelms the world, the Lord will incarnate in human form to establish the modes of earning peace (prasanthi) and to reeducate the human community in the paths of peace. At the present time, strife and discord have robbed peace and unity from the family, the school, the society, the religions, the cities, and the state.

The arrival of the Lord is also anxiously awaited by saints and sages. Spiritual aspirants (sadhus) prayed and I have come. My main tasks are fostering of the Vedas (Hindu scriptures) and fostering of the devotees. Your virtue, your self-control, your detachment, your faith, your steadfastness: these are the signs by which people read of my glory. You can lay claim to be a devotee only when you have placed yourself in my hands fully and completely with no trace of ego. You can enjoy the bliss through the experience the Avathar confers. The Avathar behaves in a human way so that mankind can feel kinship, but rises into his superhuman heights so that mankind can aspire to reach the heights, and through that aspiration actually reach him. Realizing the Lord within you as the motivator is the task for which he comes in human form.

Avathars like Rama and Krishna had to kill one or more individuals who could be identified as enemies of the righteous (dharmic) way of life, and thus restore the practice of virtue. But now there is no one fully good, so who deserves the protection of God? All are tainted by wickedness, so who will survive if the Avathar decides to uproot? Therefore, I have come to correct the intelligence (buddhi), by various means. I have to counsel, help, command, condemn and stand by as a friend and well-wisher to all, so that they may give up evil propensities and, recognizing the straight mark, tread it and reach the goal. I have to reveal to the people the worth of the Vedas, the Sastras and the spiritual texts which lay down the norms. If you will accept me and say "Yes," I too will respond and say, "Yes, yes, yes." If you deny and say "No," I also echo "No." Come, examine, experience, have faith. This is the method of utilizing me.

I do not mention Sai Baba in any of my discourses, but I bear the name as Avathar of Sai Baba. I do not appreciate in the least the distinction between the various appearances of God: Sai, Rama, Krishna, etc. I do not proclaim that this is more important or that is less important. Continue your worship of your chosen God along lines already familiar to you, then you will find that you are coming nearer to me. For all names are mine, and all forms are mine. There is no need to change your chosen God and adopt a new one when you have seen me and heard me.

Every step in the career of the Avathar is predetermined. Rama came to feed the roots truth (sathya) and righteousness dharma. Krishna came to foster peace shanti, and love prema. Now all these four are in danger of being dried up. That is why the present Avathar has come. The righteousness that has fled to the forests has to be brought back into the villages and towns. The anti-righteousness that is ruining the villages and towns must be driven back into the jungle.

I have come to give you the key of the treasure of bliss ananda, to teach you how to tap that spring, for you have forgotten the way to blessedness. If you waste this time of saving yourselves, it is just your fate. You have come to get from me tinsel and trash, the petty little cures and promotions, worldly joys and comforts. Very few of you desire to get from me the thing that I have come to give you: namely, liberation itself. Even among these few, those who stick to the path of spiritual practice (sadhana) and succeed are a handful.

Your worldly intelligence cannot fathom the ways of God. He cannot be recognized by mere cleverness of intelligence. You may benefit from God, but you cannot explain him. Your explanations are merely guesses, attempts to cloak your ignorance in pompous expressions. Bring something into your daily practice as evidence of your having known the secret of the higher life from me. Show that you have greater brotherliness. Speak with more sweetness and self-control. Bear defeat as well as victory with calm resignation, I am always aware of the future and the past as well as the present of every one of you, so I am not so moved by mercy. Since I know the past, the background, the reaction is different. It is your consequence of evil deliberately done in the previous birth, so I allow your suffering to continue, often modified by some little compensation. I do not cause either joy or grief. You are the designer of both these chains that bind you. I am the embodiment of bliss (Anandaswarupa). Come, take bliss (ananda) from me, dwell on that bliss, and be full of peace (shanti).

My acts are the foundations on which I am building my work, the task for which I have come. All the miraculous acts which you observe are to be interpreted so. The foundation for a dam requires a variety of materials. Without these it will not last and hold back the waters. An incarnation of the Lord has to be used in various ways by man for his uplift.

The Lord has no intention to publicize himself. I do not need publicity, nor does any other Avathar of the Lord. What are you daring to publicize? Me? What do you know about me? You speak one thing about me today and another tomorrow. Your faith has not become unshakable. You praise me when things go well and blame me when things go wrong. When you start publicity you descend to the level of those who compete in collecting plenty by decrying others and extolling themselves.

Where money is calculated, garnered or exhibited to demonstrate one's achievements, I will not be present. I come only where sincerity and faith and surrender are valued. Only inferior minds will revel in publicity and self-aggrandizement. These have no relevance in the case of Avathars. Avathars need no advertizement.

The establishment of righteousness (dharma): that is my aim. The teaching of dharma, the spread of dharma: that is my object. These miracles, as you call them, are just a means toward that end. Some of you remark that Ramakrishna Paramahamsa (an Indian saint) said that yogic powers (siddhis) are obstructions in the path of the spiritual aspirant (sadhaka) Yes, yogic powers may lead the spiritual aspirant astray. Without being involved in them he has to keep straight on. His ego will bring him down if he yields to the temptation of demonstrating his yogic powers. That is the correct advice which every aspirant should heed. But the mistake lies in equating me with a sadhaka, like the one whom Ramakrishna wanted to help, guide and warn. These yogic powers are just in the nature of the Avathar -- the creation of things with intent to protect and give joy is spontaneous and lasting. Creation, preservation, and dissolution can be accomplished only by the Almighty ... no one else can.

Cynics carp without knowledge. If they learn the Sastras or scriptures, or if they cultivate direct experience, they can understand me. Your innate laziness prevents you from the spiritual exercises necessary to discover the nature of God. This laziness should go. It has to be driven out of man's nature in whatever shape it appears. That is my mission. My task is not merely to cure and console and remove individual misery but is something far more important. The removal of misery and distress is incidental to my mission. My main task is the reestablishment of the Vedas and Sastras (spiritual scriptures), and revealing the knowledge about them to all people. This task will succeed. It will not be limited. It will not be slowed down. When the Lord decides and wills, his divine will cannot be hindered.

You must have heard people say that mine is all magic. But the manifestation of divine power must not be interpreted in terms of magic. Magicians play their tricks for earning their maintenance, worldly fame, and wealth. They are based on falsehood and they thrive on deceit, but this body could never stoop to such a low level. This body has come through the Lord's resolve to come. That resolve is intended to uphold truth (sathya). Divine resolve is always true resolve. Remember there is nothing that divine power cannot accomplish. It can transmute earth into sky and sky into earth. To doubt this is to prove that you are too weak to grasp great things, the grandeur of the universe.

I have come to instruct all in the essence of the Vedas, to shower on all this precious gift, to protect the ancient wisdom (sanathana dharma) and preserve it. My mission is to spread happiness, so I am always ready to come among you not once, but twice or thrice -- as often as you want me. Many of you probably think that since people from all parts of India, and even foreign countries outside India, come to Puttaparthi, they must be pouring their contributions into the coffers of the Nilayam (Prasanthi Nilayam: name of Sai Baba's ashram). But let me declare the truth. I do not take anything from anyone except their love and devotion. This has been my consistent practice for the last many years. People who come here are giving me just the wealth of faith, devotion, and love. That is all.

Many of you come to me with problems of health and mental worry of one sort or another. They are mere baits by which you have been brought here. But the main purpose is that you may have grace and strengthen your faith in the divine. Problems and worries are really to be welcomed, as they teach you the lessons of humility and reverence. Running after external things produces all this discontent. That type of desire has no end. Once you have become a slave to the senses, they will not leave hold until you are dead. It is an unquenchable thirst. But I call you to me and even grant worldly boons so that you may turn God-ward. No Avathar has done like this before, going among the masses, counseling them, guiding them, consoling them, uplifting them, and directing them along the path of truth, righteousness, peace and love (sathya, dharma, santhi and prema).

My activities and movements will never be altered, whoever may pass whatever opinion on them. I shall not modify my plans for the establishment of righteousness (dharmasthapana), my discourses, or my movements. I have stuck to this determination for many years and I am engaged in the task for which I have come: that is, to inculcate faith in the path of the highest spiritual peace (prasanthi). I shall not stop or retract a step.

Not even the biggest scientist can understand me by means of his laboratory knowledge. I am always full of bliss. Whatever may happen, nothing can come in the way of my smile. That is why I am able to impart joy to you and make your burden lighter. I never exult when I am extolled, nor shrink when I am reviled. Few have realized my purpose and significance, but I am not worried. When things that are not in me are attributed to me, why should I worry? When things that are in me are mentioned, why should I exult? For me it is always, "Yes, yes, yes." If you give all and surrender to the Lord, he will guard and guide you. The Lord has come for just this task. He is declaring that he will do so, and that it is the very task that has brought him here. I know the agitations of your heart and its aspirations, but you do not know my heart. I react to the pain that you undergo and to the joy that you feel, for I am in your heart. I am the dweller in the temple of every heart. Do not lose contact and company, for it is only when the coal is in contact with the live embers that it can also become live ember.

Cultivate a nearness with me in the heart and it will be rewarded. Then you too will acquire a fraction of that supreme love. This is a great chance. Be confident that you will all be liberated. Know that you are saved. Many hesitate to believe that things will improve, that life will be happy for all and full of joy, and that the golden age will recur. Let me assure you that this divine body (dharmaswarupa) has not come in vain. It will succeed in averting the crisis that has come upon humanity." Sri Sathya Sai Baba 23rd November 1968

Click here for a lovely Sai Gayatri

Favourite Poetry - Ego Sum

I am solely, I am
I aim at solid minds of attitude and stealth
Quick to steal and unlock the truth
Turning around the days like they were paper aeroplanes
And slowly pouring out sweet pocketfuls of vengeance unto myself
The feeling reek deeper shades than black and therefore
I accept every broken slash across my arms hoping that I
Will change and become a rock, to hold up and be strong with.
Who is the doctor who will help me out
When I cry and try and block out the stars?
To moan intro a silent cave that will hold me still
Rocking back and forth my child self in my arms
Receding in the smoke, thinking I will be safe
But I am not, and there is no glory in defeat
And no winning in loss, a great loss that I am
Beginning to shield myself from this storm
Hold me close and beat me unconscious so I might sleep
And be a peace, a liquid form, I fit!
This is the world and this is I
Dreaming deep the being is,
I am solely, I am

Kei Lawford (2004)

Bombay Taxi Ride

Travelling by taxi to Ramesh Balsekar's house in Gamadia Road (now called Shri Lalchand Hirachand Chowk) on Thursday 12th October 2006. Ramesh wasn't well that day and so we couldn't see him...

Click on the heading to see the video of the taxi ride to Ramesh's