Sunday 31 August 2008

Favourite Nursery Rhymes



A jolly fat frog
Lived in the river swim O!
A comely black crow
Lived on the river brim O!
"Come on shore,
Come on shore,"
Said the crow to the frog
And then O!
"No you'll bite me,
No you'll bite me"
Said the frog to the crow
Again O!

"O there is sweet music
On yonder green hill O!
And you shall be a dancer,
A dancer in yellow,
All in yellow,
All in yellow"
Said the crow to the frog
And then O!
"All in yellow,
All in yellow"
Said the frog to the crow
And then O!

"Farewell, ye little fishes
That in the river swim O!
I'm going to be a dancer,
A dancer in yellow."
"O beware!
O beware!"
Said the fish to the frog
And then O!
"I'll take care,
I'll take care,"
Said the frog to the fish
Again O!

The frog began a swimming,
A swimming to land O!
And the crow began jumping
To give him a hand O!
"Sir, you're welcome,
Sir, you're welcome,"
Said the crow to the frog
And then O!
"Sir, I thank you,
Sir, I thank you,"
Said the frog to the crow
Again O!

"But where is the sweet music
On yonder green hill O?
And where are the dancers,
The dancers all in yellow?
All in yellow,
All in yellow,"
Said the frog to the crow
And then O!
But he chuckled, how he chuckled
And then O, and then O!"

Friday 29 August 2008

The End of a Special Place


Some places feel special as soon as you walk into them. Our local post office in Balham High Rd was one of those. Cramped and a bit scruffy, it radiated warmth and helpfulness to the many local residents who used it, some every day, for the small but essential services of pension withdrawls, bill payments, the submitting of official forms and the posting of letters. To go there was to be almost certain that you would find someone to talk to in the queue, such was the convivial atmosphere generated by the highly educated family who ran it for many years - the Mazumdars - who came from India in 1967. Mrs Mazumdar was always behind he counter, smiling, helped by Victor, while her husband managed the sales of cards and envelopes in the front.

Now it has been shut down - one of the more than 2,500 local post offices that are being closed by the bureaucrats in Whitehall. True, other post offices exist not far away, but are either much less convenient for elderly residents on foot, or are large and soulless places where people wait in desultory queues for insufficient service, and no one talks to anyone else except to complain.

On 29th August approximately 700 people came to the little post office at various times during the day and were given Indian food and cake while they paid their respects and reaffirmed their opposition to the closure. Most had signed the petition taken last year to keep it open, but their voices had gone unheeded. Further loss of respect for government has been added to the sad chill this unnecessary closure has thrown over the local community.

The Most Moving of All Hymns


I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above,
Entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love;
The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test,
That lays upon the altar the dearest and the best;
The love that never falters, the love that pays the price,
The love that makes undaunted the final sacrifice.

And there's another country, I've heard of long ago,
Most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know;
We may not count her armies, we may not see her King;
Her fortress is a faithful heart, her pride is suffering;
And soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase,
And her ways are ways of gentleness, and all her paths are peace.

Words by Sir Cecil Spring-Rice,
Tune Thaxted by Gustav Holst.

Favourite Poems - Beloved Earth

You are forever with me, as I with you.
Day and night we are always together.
If I go a thousand miles, a million miles away,
You will be there and comfort me.
I am a seed in your soil,
For you I blossom and bring forth fruit.
I am a willow beside your path,
For you I herald the miracle of spring.
O beloved Earth,
You are forever with me as I with you.

While you dwell in my heart
Nor life nor death can part us.
Mine the faith of a loveling child;
Yours the compassion of a merciful father.
Like a lark soaring in the sky
I will hymn the beauty of the morning.
Like a pine tree high on the mountain
I will give shelter from the storms and tempests.
O beloved earth,
You are forever with me as I with you.

Beloved Earth - Traditional Chinese -
sung by Katusha Tsui at the Memorial Service for Sir YK Pao 23rd January 2002

Wednesday 27 August 2008

American Prints


A wonderful exhibition of American prints at the British Museum

Click the heading for some more photos

Tuesday 19 August 2008

John O'Donohue at Glenstal Abbey


Reflection

We have spectacular landscapes here in the West of Ireland. Everywhere, dark mountains preside. It is also a landscape singularly unburdened by California-style sunshine. We enjoy generous endowments of rain, fog and mist. Sometimes, when the fog comes down, the mountains disappear completely. More interesting is when you awaken on a day when the fog has come halfway down the mountain, making the top of the mountain invisible and rendering the stem of the mountain strong and lucent. It is fascinating to stand under the mountain then, and experience the summit as absent. Though you know it is still there near you, you can no longer claim it with the eye. I always find this to be a thrilling experience of the power of the imagination. Like the mountains around every life, huge adjacencies preside, presences that remain invisible to the eye.

You have never seen your own face. You cannot see your thoughts, which shape your mind and world, and you have never seen the inner world hidden behind the faces of those closest to you. You cannot see the future that is already claiming you and you cannot see the divine, so the invisible world holds our deepest treasures and it is only through the gift of the imagination that we can sense these adjacent worlds and cross over their thresholds. The imagination is the great friend of possibility. For the alert and awakened imagination, possibilities always beckon towards new pathways of creativity, belonging and love. Each of us has been created by the Divine Artist, made in the image and likeness of the Divine Imagination. When we become creative, we approach holiness. The imagination knows that it is at these thresholds that new worlds rise into view. At last, we abandon the repetitive safety of the predictable and risk ourselves into the adventure of the unknown.

There is a sublime wildness in God that calls us to risk becoming who we dream and have long been dreamed to be. The Divine Imagination has no time for the closed and the finished. To each of us is given an unfinished, open-ended world and spirituality is the adventure of attention, to which its secret and sacred forms begin to emerge. More often that not, the language of religion falsifies the subtlety of Divine Presence and Imagination, and labels and names mislead us into the bland territories of the obvious. Often, when you wake in the middle of the night, unprotected, uncertainty finds you. The role an name you wear during the day, the things you do, what you have achieved, who others hold you to be, all of that seems so far away now. You feel alone, a stranger in the world. Though disturbing, such moments of dangerous knowing draw us deeper into who we really are and why it is that we are here. It helps us become aware of the subtle, but secret, order of Divine Providence that guides our ways and our days. This helps us realise even in dark times how light is kept alive in the world. It awakens us to the beauty of goodness.

Around us all the time is the invisible presence of the unknown saints, people who bring goodness alive. We will never know their names, for they live far from the world of image and headlines, yet through the dignity of their kindness, they keep the humane tissue of a culture alive and vital. Each day we awaken, unknown kindness supports and shelters us. These are the gifts we never see directly, yet their presence makes life bearable. Their endurance prevents the house of the mind from becoming a haunted ruin.

The great Irish poet and philosopher John O'Donohue, who died suddenly earlier this year. Transscribed from a BBC programme

Wednesday 13 August 2008

Vilhelm Hammershoi at the Royal Academy



I knew nothing about Vilhelm Hammershoi - a marvellous Danish painter -until recently, when the Royal Academy held an exhibition of his work

Click the heading for some more examples

Monday 4 August 2008

The Best Hotel in the World?




Cliveden is sometimes described as the best hotel in the world. I don't know enough places which might fall into that category to judge, but it's certainly the finest I've ever visited. The glorious Italianate facade which greets you at the end of the magnificent drive is spectacular, but intimate - and indeed Cliveden still feels like a large country house rather than an hotel. An additional wing overlooking the famous swimming pool adds a number of more standard-sized rooms, but if you stay, take one of the rooms in the main house with their beautiful views across the front garden down towards the Thames.

You enter through the main hall - a marvellous panelled room dominated by a huge fireplace and hung with tapestries - and the original portrait of Nancy Astor. It's a perfect place for tea - or drinks before dinner.


You can have dinner in the Terrace dining room overlooking the garden, and it’s now done up like a pudding in an overrich terracotta but still lacks intimacy. Moreover, the chef still seems to think that the type of nouvelle cuisine where you need a golf trolley to find your way to disparate scraps of food on a vast plate is 'le mode’.. The 'haute cuisine' restaurant Waldo's in the cellars is more interesting and there are some fascinating portraits and photographs in the corridors - including a fine one of Christine Keeler. Breakfast can also be taken communally at a huge table in a magnificent room at the end of the house, just as it was when a private home - but now, only if you book for a large party.

The pool area behind a lovely old wall has been converted in to a full spa with a heated indoor pool, but it's still very easy to imagine the the beginnings of the famous Profumo / Keeler scandal there (for those too young to know about such things, there's a brief summary here)

Despite the grandeur of the house and its associations, it's marvellously relaxed and one quickly settles in to the lifestyle. Surrounded by a large park and formal gardens which are beautifully looked after by the National Trust, there is much to see before returning to the comfort of a chair by the fire in the library to contemplate starting some scandals of your own.

Friday 1 August 2008

Favourite Comedy


I've always loved hand puppets since the days of Peter Brough, Shani Lewis, Rod Hull and the like- and the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre is wonderful!

Wednesday 30 July 2008

The Poison of Bonuses

I worked in the financial services sector of the City for nearly 40 years, and from the 1980s onwards was increasingly astonished at the offering of US-style bonuses for doing an honest day's work. Such bonuses serve to skew individuals' performance towards a particular easily identified course of action - usually involving more risk - but more importantly are likely to erode people's personal values. Our work is performed as our duty to ourselves, our families and our colleagues and we should discharge it to the best of our ability at all times. We should not need the carrot of more money to do a difficult job; we do it because it is our job. Sometimes one just happens to be in the hot seat at the relevant time; if we weren't any good, we wouldn't be there. The chap at Barclays said to be getting additional compensation for finding outside capital is also just doing his job, and should need no more of shareholders' funds than his normal pay for doing it. To offer people large bonuses is to insult peoples' characters.

Saturday 19 July 2008

Favourite Writings - The Lycian Shore


Photo by Kei Lawford. Click to enlarge

As I came down from the causeway through the theatre, a black snake like a shy god slid into the laurel thicket; I stepped over the stones rattled by earthquakes on their foundations, and climbed from terrace to terrace of corn where peasants built shallow walls round the pockets of ancient houses. The full ears, ready for harvest, beat their slight weight against my passing hand, as if they to would spend their weak resistance for the headland's warm and living peace. So remote, so undisturbed was the great hollow, that its own particular divinity seemed to fill it - complete in being as a cup is filled to the brim. There was no judgement here but only the consequence of actions; the good corn filled itself out in deeper places and the bad dwindled among stones, and all things were a part of each other in a soil that someone's building two thousand or more years ago had flattened or spoiled. A fair-haired woman, still beautiful, with green eyes, was reaping. I asked if I might photograph, and she called her husband, who came climbing up and stood beside her, and glanced at her and smiled when I said that she was like the English to look at: they were both pleased by her fairness, and there was a happy friendliness between them. He had the oval face of the Mediterranean, and she the straight northern brows: and the history of the world had washed over Cnidus to produce them both, from the days when their ancestors, in the oldest city of the peninsular, joined in building the Hellenium in Egypt, or sent the first caryatid to Delphi.

Freya Stark-- The Lycian Shore
(I make no excuse for resuing one of my favourite writings, as no one reads back to when this was first posted, least of all me)

Tuesday 8 July 2008

The National Gardens Scheme



I don't know if The National Gardens Scheme is replicated in other coutries, but I do know that nothing epitomises the spirit of the British Isles so well.

The piece below by Paul Johnson in the Spectator says most of what there is to say about gardening in England, though he properly concentrates on the relatively modest gardens that are on show for only a day or two while only alluding to the grander ones - which at the end of the day are equally the expression of one mind's love of nature, but are even more extraordinary in their compass - like the great garden at Athelhampton which we visited last week.

One of the best ways to appreciate gardens is through the eyes of a good photographer - and my personal favourite is Nigel Birkett, who kindly puts his photos on Flick for all to see.

'A gardener must be a philosopher but never an atheist'
There is no more English activity than gardening, and it has been so for over a thousand years. Indeed, there were Anglo-Saxon gardens before: traces remain. Gardens grew under castle walls, and were tended by the wives of men who wore chain mail. They took the place of water lilies when the moats were peaceably drained. The first great English essay, written by Francis Bacon early in the 17th century, is ‘Of Gardens’. I have just reread it. It is long, elegant but detailed and full of ripe knowledge, about nature and our intimate relationship with her.

Bacon is particularly good on the scents and smells of a garden which, stirred by faint breezes, he compares, in its coming and going, to the warbling of music. Thus he gives advice on planting accordingly, to create varying odours all the year round. He distinguishes between passive smells, and those you can arouse. Thus: ‘Those which perfume the air most delightfully, not passed by as the rest, but being trodden upon and crushed, are three: that is, burnet, wild-thyme and watermints. Therefore you are to set whole alleys of them, to have the pleasure when you walk or tread.’ Of course, you say, flowers had much stronger scents in that golden age. Not necessarily so: Bacon complains that some flowers which ought to smell gloriously do not, and instances bays, rosemary and sweet marjoram; and he complains that some flowers, once in bloom, expend their scent quickly: ‘Roses, damask and red, are fast flowers of their smell, so that you may walk by a whole row of them, and find nothing of their sweetness; yea, though it be in a morning’s dew.’ The flower, he says, that ‘yields the sweetest smell in the air, is the violet, especially the white double violet’. As true today as when he wrote.

I was thinking of Bacon the other weekend when I went to an open garden day at one of our finest Somerset villages, Stogumber. There were 15 gardens on display, all within easy walking distance so each could be visited without undue fatigue. It is a noble place, crowded with old houses, kept beautifully painted, and with a pleasing mediaeval church, whose collection of silver vessels was likewise on show. Walking its sleepy lanes, and popping in every few paces to inspect a garden behind its proud cottage, was a rare delight. One sometimes thinks that Old England is gone for good, and looking around parts of London nowadays with its atmosphere of a degraded Levantine bazaar crowded with embittered people, it is hard to deny the malign change. But in West Somerset, on such an occasion, Old England is very much alive: gentle, personal, courteous, smiling, welcoming, anxious to show you what has been created, and explain it.

These small gardens on show at their best time of year are more fun and interesting than the grander affairs. To begin with, each is totally individual, made by one devoted person, or a couple. Then, the creators are there, on the spot, to answer your questions and tell of the experiments, surprises, disappointments and glories of their craft. What is so remarkable is the ingenuity with which each square foot of garden is put to use, to create intensity, variety and contrasts, an air of spaciousness and generosity in an acre or less. I saw nothing repetitive, no horticultural clichés, but on the contrary, originality and imagination, especially in the juxtaposition of colour, shape, size and texture of leaf, as though the gardener was a painter, composing carefully not only for the telling detail but the general effect. And they are quick to tell you of the happy accident, the surprise emergence in due season of an unusual bloom, unexpected but refreshing, and welcome. ‘That was a surprise,’ they say. ‘But then you never know exactly what is going to come up, or what precisely is happening in the winter under the soil.’ Gardening is like raising children, in a way: full of unexpected changes, even shocks; requiring a great deal of patience and love, and willingness to go with nature instead of trying to bend it to your will.

Gardens, especially small ones tended by one person, reflect character, and express aesthetic temperament, even a philosophy of life. I was particularly taken by one delicately composed of pale shades, which put me in mind of Milton’s Lycidas:

Bring the rathe primrose that forsaken dies,
The tufted crow-toe, and pale jessamine,
The white pink, and the pansy freaked with jet,
The glowing violet,
The musk-rose, and the well-attired woodbine,
With cowslips wan that hang the pensive head,
And every flower that sad embroidery wears.

By contrast, there was the blazing border based upon what Bacon calls the ‘French marigold’, but composed of many other fierce orange and yellow blooms, and a few furnace-reds. It sounds a horror but was actually, in its own bold way, a masterpiece of taste and vivacity, as though van Gogh, wisely advised by Fantin-Latour, had designed it in an inspired moment. But as the lady who created it said: ‘Oh, a lot of it was sheer luck, you know. Never happen again, most likely. But then, you don’t want too many repeats in gardening do you? I’m all for changing each year.’

I admired, too, the lady who had created a neat, spruce, serpentine path leading into the heart of her garden, with variegated mosses and plants of many shades of green, punctuating the granite squares — a miniature work of grand art, worthy of Vermeer. Gardens display tidy minds and tempestuous ones, the energies of the adventurous spirit and the cosy conservation of the virtuous one. Odd that Freud took no interest in the gardener’s mind; but then he was a city Herr, all parterres and privets. As well as all kinds of primitive instincts and irrational skills, there is a strong intellectual and spiritual element in raising plants, which both reflects personality and helps to shape it. All gardeners are economists, but of various kinds: expansionists and gradualists, exuberant or cautious. As Keynes said, gardeners can be bulls and bears, too. There is the kind, for instance, who can make perfectionist use of the daisy, recognising the truth of Chaucer’s point in the Prologue to The Legend of Good Women:

That wel by reson men it calle may
The ‘dayesye’ or elles the ‘ye of day’,
The emperice and flour of floures alle.

There is also the kind that makes superb use of contrasting light and dark leaves in shrubs, and multiple shades of green, signs of a subtle, highly observant temperament — what you might call a Dorothy Wordsworth mind.

The Old Testament is full of references to flowers, especially their fragility, their evanescence. Samuel warns: ‘All the increase of thy house shall die in the flower of their age,’ and the Voice in Isaiah says: ‘All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass.’ Gardeners know this. They perceive that dying is inherent in nature, and so is rebirth and renewal. Gardeners come close to the spirit of life and its creator. They are not wild enthusiasts, but gentle philosophers, and we may be sure that no great gardener is an atheist.'

Paul Johnson - The Spectator

Monday 7 July 2008

Great Houses



Corfe Castle, Dorset (National Trust) Click here for rather too many photos of the castle

One of the beauties of our countryside are the many great houses which survive, often in glorious grounds, by allowing people to visit them. The Historic Houses Association lists 1500 such places and The National Trust a further 300.

Athelhampton, Dorset (Historic Houses Association) Click here for some photos of Athelhampton and its garden taken on a rainy day in July
Added to which the late Sir John Smith's Landmark Trust now lets out over 180 restored old buildings for short periods so that you can experience what it's like to actually live in such places.

The East Banqueting House, Chipping Campden (The Landmark Trust)
Many of the larger houses have cafes which, like the pubs, have undergone a huge improvement in quality and can give you a decent lunch or tea.

Apart from their beauty, they are important for the history that surrounds each of them. Click on the names of these houses for a brief summary - except the site of the East Banqueting House which, like Corfe Castle, fell in the Civil War. The Landmark Trust site records that 'In 1613, the newly enriched Sir Baptist Hicks began work on a house in Chipping Campden. It was a noble house in the latest fashion, with elaborate gardens. Thirty-two years later it was destroyed, wantonly, by the Royalists, as they withdraw from the town. Only a shell was left, now shrunk to a single fragment, but other buildings escaped the fire and are still there, together with the raised walks of the garden'.

Click on each photo for a better view

Monday 30 June 2008

Favourite Views


Some of my favourite views are closer to home. This is of Koko waiting for her breakfast

Friday 27 June 2008

Favourite Books

I'm not that keen on Camus, still less on Sartre, but this is a marvellous piece of biography / literary criticism and makes me want to read Camus again with fresh eyes - particularly 'The Rebel' - the book in which he argued for a moderate humanistic stance against Sartre's 'absolutist' view of Marxism

Notebooks, 1951-1959 By Albert Camus (reviewed by Richard Eder in the IHT)

Albert Camus was one of the two pillars of postwar French literature. The other was Jean-Paul Sartre, his comrade in letters if not quite in arms (during the Resistance, Camus dangerously put out a clandestine newspaper, while Sartre stayed safely studying and writing). Then in the early 1950s, they bitterly split.

Camus's pillar stood in Paris, but in a sense it belonged elsewhere: perhaps among the Corinthian columns in North Africa's Hellenistic ruins. He was a French Algerian, of course, but the point isn't his provenance but his temperament. He was Mediterranean, a creature of sun and water, fierceness and the senses.

In Paris, with its cool symmetries, he was, to adapt a French saying, uncomfortable in his skin - the constricting ideological precision that Sartre and his fellow intellectuals fitted on him. They treated him as a marvel, and then when he rebelled against their leftist rigor, they condemned him.

This odd unsuitability, both of emotions and the mind, comes to life in the third and last volume of Camus's notebooks, appearing in an English translation (by Ryan Bloom) 19 years after they came out in French.

The split took place when Camus took issue with the absolutism of revolutions. Seeking to realize their ideals, he argued, they end up using violence and tyranny. It was an attack on Soviet Communism at a time when Sartre and his followers were becoming its increasingly rigid supporters.

They insisted that overt repression, however repellent, was the only way to fight the insidious structural tyranny of colonialist capitalism. One must choose, painfully. No we mustn't, Camus rejoined: neither be killers nor victims.

In his notebooks Camus excoriates "the newly achieved revolutionary spirit, nouveau riche, and Pharisees of justice." He names Sartre and his followers, "who seem to make the taste for servitude a sort of ingredient of virtue."

He mocks their conformism: cowardly, besides, he implies, citing the story of a child who announced her plan to join "the cruelest party." Because: "If my party is in power, I'll have nothing to fear, and if it is the other, I'll suffer less since the party which will persecute me will be the less cruel one."

Camus writes more generally: "Excess in love, indeed the only desirable, belongs to saints. Societies, they exude excess only in hatred. This is why one must preach to them an intransigent moderation."

A convenient refusal to take sides, as Sartre and his circle insisted? There was nothing convenient in Camus. He was closer to Milovan Djilas, once a hard-line Communist, then jailed by Tito, and in the end proclaiming his battle-won political credo: "the unperfect society."

The most interesting aspect of the "Notebooks" is not politics but its personal substratum. Beneath Camus's ideological quarrels is a deeper unhappiness with the critical bent of the Paris intelligentsia.

"Curious milieu," he writes of La Nouvelle Revue Française, "whose function it is to create writers, and where, however, they lose the joy of writing and creating."

It is, in part, the Southerner's discomfort with the North, with the centralization dating back to the Capet dynasties that drew France's energies up to Paris. On a trip to Italy, Camus writes: "Already the Italians on the train, and soon those of the hotel as well, have warmed my heart. People whom I have always liked and who make me feel my exile in the French people's perpetual bad mood."

He writes of his mix of happiness and depression after winning the Nobel Prize - "frightened by what happens to me, what I have not asked for" - and the angry attacks it provoked from the Paris left. He writes of his wife's depression and his lovers (many). "I don't seduce, I surrender." Later he varies this to fit Don Juan, who, not surprisingly, fascinates him: "I don't seduce, I adapt."

He travels to his birthplace. "Honeysuckle - for me, its scent is tied to Algiers. It floated in the streets that led toward the high gardens where the girls awaited us. Vines, youth." It was a memory that fought against politics. Camus could not put aside the reality of the French settlers. The vicious war between French forces and the National Liberation Front - the Algerian nationalists - was his own civil war.

Thursday 26 June 2008

Modern Logistics

Modern logistics never cease to amaze me. There has been quite a bit of eBay shopping going on in this house recently, and the results march in through the front gate only a couple of days later. But the big brands, especially those bought through Amazon, are even quicker. I finally succumbed to buying a digital SLR one afternoon this week, and it was delivered the next morning at 9am! The iPhone was the same; ordered on line from my Spanish hotel when my N95 packed up and delivered the morning after arriving home. And that's not to mention the music heard on iTunes one moment and bought and downloaded the next.

Thursday 12 June 2008

Favourite Gardens - the Orangery


All gardens betray their owners' quirks. That low brick wall is supposed to slow a flood after heavy rain so that the drains can cope! And the patch of grass in the flower bed is left for the dog to lie on (it has another patch under a fuschia bush should the sun be too strong)

It's a pity that Pont didn't spend any time on gardens and their owners.

Sunday 8 June 2008

The Incrdedible Art of HR Geiger


My daughter has introduced me the the incredible art of HR Geiger, who among other things, was the designer for Alien.
Click the heading for some more examples of his work

Saturday 7 June 2008

Watching the English

Pont - The Importance of Tea

'Watching the English" analyses the characteristics of the English through the eyes of an anthropologist, Kate Fox. It's a marvellously amusing and perceptive read. Particularly accurately, she finds the English 'the most socially inept race on earth', covering up their permanenent state of embarassment with attempted humour and mock-ironic observations.

"She puts the English national character under her anthropological microscope, and finds a strange and fascinating culture, governed by complex sets of unspoken rules and Byzantine codes of behaviour. Her minute observation of the way we talk, dress, eat, drink, work, play, shop, drive, flirt, fight, queue – and moan about it all – exposes the hidden rules that we all unconsciously obey.

The rules of weather-speak. The Importance of Not Being Earnest rule. The ironic-gnome rule. The reflex-apology rule. The paranoid-pantomime rule. Class indicators and class-anxiety tests. The money-talk taboo. Humour rules. Pub etiquette. Table manners. The rules of bogside reading. The dangers of excessive moderation. The eccentric-sheep rule. The English 'social dis-ease'.

Through a mixture of anthropological analysis and her own unorthodox experiments, using herself as a reluctant guinea-pig, Kate Fox discovers what these unwritten behaviour codes tell us about Englishness".

I have a feeling that Kate Fox would appreciate the accuracy of Pont's observations

Friday 6 June 2008

Favourite Cartoons



My favourite cartoons are those of a gentle British cartoonist who called himself 'Pont' and who drew for Punch in the 1930s.
This is one is from a series called 'The British Character" and is typical.

Pont would no doubt have enjoyed Kate Fox's 'Watching the English"


Cartoons - particuarly Oliphant's cartoons in the New York Times - put current affairs marvellously into perspective and elegantly skewer some disseembling politico at the same time.

Wednesday 4 June 2008

Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son

"You're going to meet a good many stray fools in the course of business every day without going out to hunt up the main herd after dark".

"You'll find that education's about the only thing lying around loose in this world, and that it's about the only thing a fellow can have as much of as he's willing to haul away. Everything else is screwed down tight and the screw-driver lost."



One of my favourite books: Letters from A Self-Made Merchant To His Son Being the Letters written by John Graham, Head of the House of Graham & Company, Pork-Packers in Chicago, to his Son, Pierrepont

See also, Lord Chesterfield's Letters to his Son on Becoming a Gentleman

Tuesday 3 June 2008

Favourite Bedtime Books







A few favourite bedtime books for children - The Dog That Dug, Where the Wild things Are and The Hairy Book

Thursday 29 May 2008

Rosie Jenks 1943-2005


















Lucie and Charlie Skipwith with Rosie Bryans (Jenks) and Ann Duke at The Fort, Roundstone in 1972




Rosie Jenks (Bryans) died in the autumn of 2005, leaving her husband Richard, who sadly followed her in 2007 and her sister Cilla, who died in 2006. Rosie was a very good friend who, when she was single, welcomed us almost daily to her house in Droxford in the late 60s and was always enormous fun.

Her memorial service was held in Sherborne Abbey, Dorset and was made the more special by the superb singing of Laudate Dominum by Elizabeth Denham and a moving eulogy. I wish I had a copy of it to post here.

Sherborne Abbey is one of the most beautiful churches in England. See here for a panorama


Rosie, Richard, Penny, Mike, Frances, Cilla, with Prue at the front - after Nick's wedding 1975


Saturday 24 May 2008

Granddaughter-on-Sea


This is a photo of Edward carrying Charlotte, No 1 granddaughter on the beach near Melbourne. Looking forward to seeing him with No 2, Millie as well!

Thursday 22 May 2008

Chelsea Flower Show 2008


This year's Chelsea Flower Show show was packed with happy-looking and well-dressed people and the sun shone all day. As last year, my favourite garden was by the Japanese designer Kazuyuki Ishihara, and this year his garden - called Green Door - won a Gold Medal in the Urban category.

If you want a surfeit of photos of this year's show, click the heading.
Photos of last year's show are here

Green Door

Tuesday 20 May 2008

Wise Advice

This moving letter appeared in a magazine with what is deeply understanding advice from 'Aunt Sally' and I thought to reproduce it here. I am sure that my Aunt Ruth, who was a marriage guidance counsellor in her spare time, would have given similar wise advice.
Aunt Sally's ending reminded me of Jalalludin Al-Rumi's wonderful poetry, a fragment of which I have put here.

'Twenty years ago, my parents went through a bitter divorce when my father had an affair. I was 16 and took my mother's side. My anger and hurt were so bad that I made what I see now as an unreasonable ultimatum, demanding that he choose between me and his mistress. He said that he loved her. I took this as rejection, and have not seen him since. He broke my heart as we were very close.


I am now happily married, with children, and have tried to bury my feelings (through loyalty to my mother) but I have recurrent dreams in which I am shouting and crying shortly before he walks away. My husband cannot understand how any man could do as he did and is not keen for me to make contact. I have tried to rationalise that he must have been weak to leave his children, but I agree with my husband in many ways. I know that he has maried the woman and I know his address, but I'm so scared of being rejected again. Part of me feels that he walked away and that if he wanted to restore our relationship, he would have done so long ago - but he may, like me, be scared of rejection'.


Aunt Sally replies: This is such a sad story. Fear, pride, ego,and self-righteous anger have kept you apart from the father you love for twenty years. And before the rest of you jump all over me with cross letters saying 'It was his fault. He abandoned his family; she has every right to feel the way she does', let me ask a few simple questions. 'Was it worth it?' Has it helped anyone?' Who in this sorry tale has benefited' I know it's hard, when you've been badly hurt, to get past all the 'shoulds' and 'oughts' and I understand why you feel you have a right to be angry, but rights and resentments do nothing to heal the pain we suffer. Nor do assumptions. It would be so good if you could let go of them. They were understandable when you were 16 and stuck, as you say in your longer letter, in 'black and white thinking', but they are not helpful now.


Should your father have contacted you? Yes, of course. Why didn't he. There could be a hundred reasons. The point is, you know none of them. As you have discovered, now that you are seeing things from an adult perspective, your father is human. He may be, as you say, a weak man. Then again, he may be strong enough not to have imposed his love and need on the child to whom he feels (because you told him) he brought terrible misery. Out of kindness to your mother, he may have allowed her his childrens' unquestioning loyalty and felt it was too cruel to pursue a relationship with you. He might respect you enough to allow you to make your own choices about seeing him. Or he might be just as pig-headed and stubborn as you. Like father, like daughter.


You simply don't know, just as you have no idea what your father is thinking and feeling right now. You have no idea if he hopes against hope that you will contact him. You have no idea what your mother said or did to your father, and whether if might have made him feel that it was kinder to let you get on with your life. You have no idea what went on in your parent's marriage. You have your mother's version, but uncompromising bitterness and anger can come from lack of honesty. When we react violently with blame and punishment, it is often because we canot bear to look at our own part in things.


Your father gave an honest answer to an unreasonable question. He said that he loved the woman he loved. That did not (and does not) mean that he does not love you. Love is not finite. There is plenty to go round. It might not seem that way when we are 16, but at that age the universe revolves entirely around us. As for rejection, it seems that you did the rejecting. From a child's perspective, of course he should have stayed. From an adult perspective, you were nearly at an age whe you were going to launch into your own life. Should he have given up years of happiness to keep you happy in the moment? His marriage was over and that's sad, but would have giving up his own relationship have mended it? And would it really have made you happy, five years later, to see your father lonely and alone?


Now, you could hang onto your fear ('he doesn't love me') and your pride ('he should make the first move'), your ego ('he hurt me by doing what he wanted and not what I wanted'), and your self-righteous anger ('how dare he'). Or you coud let go of all those self-destructive emotions, pick up the phone an say: 'Hi Dad, it's me. I miss you'.


I'm going to leave you with the first lines of one of my favourite poems by the 13th century Persian mystic Rumi: 'Somewhere out beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing there is a field. I'll meet you there'.

Sally Brampton in the Sunday Times

Jallaluddin Al-Rumi 

Jalaluddin Al-Rumi


'Somewhere out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there'
(Someone has made a short video to go with this wonderful poem; click the heading to see it)

And poignantly

'Don't break the thread of love, Raheem has said
What's cut won't join; if joined it knots the thread'

A visitor to this journal has added these lovely lines, equally appropriate

'The tides will take my poetry and song,
And carry off the clothes I did not own.
Good and bad, devotion, empty piety --
Moonlight brings and moonlight takes away'.


This reminds me so much of the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam and the Tale of the Heike while the following poem reminds me of the Astravakra Gita

What can I do? I do not know myself.
I am neither Christian nor Jew, neither Zoroastrian nor Muslim,
I am not from east or west, not from land or sea,
Not from the shafts of nature nor from the spheres of the firmament,
Not of the earth, not of water, not of air, not of fire.
I am not from the highest heaven, not from this world,
not from existence, not from being.
I am not from India, not from China, not from Bulgar, not from Saqsin,
Not from the realm of the two Iraqs, not from the land of Khurasan
I am not from the world, not from beyond,
Not from heaven and not from hell.
I am not from Adam, not from Eve, not from paradise and not from Ridwan.
My place is placeless, my trace is traceless,
No body, no soul, I am from the soul of souls.
I have chased out duality, lived the two worlds as one.
One I seek, one I know, one I see, one I call.
He is the first, he is the last, he is the outer, he is the inner.
Beyond "He" and "He is" I know no other.
I am drunk from the cup of love, the two worlds have escaped me.
I have no concern but carouse and rapture.
If one day in my life I spend a moment without you
from that hour and that time I would repent my life.
If one day I am given a moment in solitude with you
I will trample the two worlds underfoot and dance forever.

Jalaluddin A-Rumi

See also Favourite Writings - Jalaluddin Al-Rumi

Monday 19 May 2008

Chengdu and the Sichuan Earthquake


Visiting the Chinese Embassy in London to sign the book of condolence
The loss of life and and terrible suffering from the great earthquake in Sichuan is tragic, but the Chinese people are dealing with the disater with great efficiency.


I visited the area once several years ago and this photo is of a tea shop I went to in Chengdu with friends. Below is one of the great Leshan Buddha at the confluence of three rivers - the Min, Qingyi and Dadu Rivers - nearby. I do hope the earthquake has at least spared that. [Update - it did - see here]

Nevertheless, here is an article in the IHT on the destruction of many other temples and historic sites nearby

Tuesday 6 May 2008

A Decent Haircut


If you are a man of mature years and rather tired of having hung-over teenager girls trying to cut your hair, this is the place for you. I was once a regular, but was inconvenient for the City unless one could factor in lunch at the Mirabelle opposite, which put the price up somewhat. Having been butchered once too often, I ventured back again and was treated to a timeless experience - a full cut-throat razor shave and a classic haircut with lots of 'I think I can manage to get it back into shape' from a sound chap with a steady hand. In response to my query 'should I be putting anything on my hair', the admirable fellow said ' nothing at all, sir', despite the shop being full of expensive ungents for just that purpose. The front of the shop has a beautiful 19th century facade (it's been going since 1875) and inside there's a counter laden with 'men's toiletries' of great style and no little expense and the smell of eau-de-cologne and bay rum hang in the air. I left feeling refreshed and pleased that it was still possible to find a hairdresser that does not expect to chat about their last holiday and doesn't play the cashier's favourite awful music at high volume while trying to give you a 'footballers' haircut'.

Sunday 4 May 2008

Favourite Music


Like many people, I have always loved Irish instrumental folk music. There is some wonderfully evocative stuff in 'Titanic' but otherwise good stuff is surprisingly hard to find. However, 'Ashokan Farewell', which was written in 1982 by an American to commemorate the flooding of a valley (the Ashoken) in Upstate New York, is a beautiful piece. It has subsequently become famous as the theme music for a series on The Civil War. This recording is not the best; that is one made by the Band of the Royal Marines, but it's not on YouTube (though you can download it from iTunes)

Tuesday 22 April 2008

A Favourite Book - The Night Land

To the North-West I looked, and in the wide field of my glass, saw plain the bright glare of the fire from the Red Pit, shine upwards against the underside of the vast chin of the North-West Watcher--The Watching Thing of the North-West. . . . Beyond these, South and West of them, was the enormous bulk of the South-West Watcher, and from the ground rose what we named the Eye Beam--a single ray of grey light, which came up out of the ground, and lit the right eye of the monster. . . There rose the vast bulk of the South-East Watcher--The Watching Thing of the South-East. And to the right and to the left of the squat monster burned the Torches; maybe half-a-mile upon each side; yet sufficient light they threw to show the lumbered-forward head of the never-sleeping Brute. And, so to tell more about the South Watcher. A million years gone, as I have told, came it out from the blackness of the South, and grew steadily nearer through twenty thousand years; but so slow that in no one year could a man perceive that it had moved. Yet it had movement, and had come thus far upon its road to the Redoubt, when the Glowing Dome rose out of the ground before it--growing slowly. And this had stayed the way of the Monster; so that through an eternity it had looked towards the Pyramid across the pale glare of the Dome, and seeming to have no power to advance nearer. And, presently, I was come upward almost to the top of the hill, the which took me nigh three hours. And surely, when I was come that I could see the grimness of the Lesser Pyramid, going upward very desolate and silent into the night, lo! an utter shaking fear did take me; for the sweet cunning of my spirit did know that there abode no human in all that great and dark bulk; but that there did await me there, monstrous and horrid things that should bring destruction upon my soul. And I went downward of the hill, very quiet in the darkness; and so in the end, away from that place.

Monday 14 April 2008